A True Examination

I Corinthians 13:5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful (ESV)

As I read this verse, I knew right away what it was that God was speaking to me on. “It does not insist on its own way”, how true are these words to me, they pierce my heart. There are times when I will be going throughout my day and I will have almost an out of self experience. It is as if God replays to me what I just said, as if to place me in the shoes of the person I was just conversing with. When this happens I find my self in disgust. How selfish can one person be? How narrow minded, arrogant, and heartless am I. And still I go on unfazed of the harm I just inflicted upon a fellow brother. Yet, God still loves me? Wrap your mind around that. I wonder what kind of change would occur in my life if God replayed to me all the selfish thoughts I had in the previous week. Just a little insight into my heart and I am in utter disgust, but a whole week unloaded at once. I think there is a reason God doesn’t do that. I wonder, could it be because if he did, I would shut down, so overwhelmed with regret I would have no hope of continuing on. A true examination of the things I do and no doubt, the motive behind most all of it would be because that’s how I wanted it done. No consideration of what someone else has in mind. God is opening my eyes to things in my life that are not lining up with his word, and this is one of them. Not everyone thinks the way I think, and I know my way is not always the best way. And still I shut down any suggestions, I manipulate those around me to do things the way I want to do them or I just choose not to participate at all. Where is the love in that? Its hard to even admit this is how I think, but I know its true. I have allowed this behavior to take deep root in my life. Later on in chapter 13 Paul says, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” I don’t need to sum this thought up because Paul just said it all. Its time for me to walk as the man God sent his son to die for.

Application: Today I will not imply on the way to do something then ask how it should be done, but I will sit back and allow other people to speak into my life. I know this will only be possible through the empowerment of the Spirit, so my day will start off with a genuine time of Spirit lead prayer.